Remember that Britney Spears video where she and Madonna are dancing on opposite sides of a wall? I have no idea what that one meant. But there’s Madonna on one side—arms cut from glass, legs of titanium, writhing and contorting, hoisting herself backward over metal bars, doing push-ups with her feet against the wall—and there’s Britney on the other, bouncing around with her dancer fleet, looking practically pointless (and it was her song!). This was years ago, when Madge was busy deeming yoga-Pilates-kabbalah the most important triumvirate since the Three Wise Men. Now, clearly, no one could bend like a pipe cleaner without some serious stretching practice over the years. But are we really naive enough to believe that those women in possession of the most famously sculpted, toned, and strong physiques—the ones doing military-grade push-ups in music videos—wake up each day to chirping bluebirds, and ohm and chant their way to a six-pack and guns of steel? Seriously, folks: Do Hollywood bodies come from Pilates? Is your yoga mat gonna give you that?
Even if most of us could afford the intensive regimens starlets are claiming—say, five $100-an-hour Pilates sessions per week, plus equally pricey private yoga instruction—we could still never expect to bibbity-bobbity-boo into what you see on-screen. And that’s because even the lean, mean Jennifer Anistons of the world aren’t practicing only what they’re preaching: They’re also weight training. While the backlash against faddish disciplines like yoga and Pilates has begun (especially as we reassess what’s worth what), any cult merits some investigation: A 2004 Mayo Clinic study tested Pilates’ most common claims, including improved flexibility and leaner muscles, on a group of 47 participants over six months and found that while flexibility improved, body composition (the percentage of fat, bone, and muscle) did not. “But you wouldn’t really expect it to,” says Neil Segal, MD, a University of Iowa physician in the department of orthopedics and rehabilitation, who conducted the study. “If you want to increase the bulk of a muscle, then you need to load that muscle.”
Loading up muscles with heavy weights is about as old-school as it gets. But it’s lasted for a reason: Weight resistance, both a high enough amount and a progressive, consistent increase of it, burns fat and builds muscle. Though that may sound primitive, the science speaks for itself, while Gyrotonic-this or power-vinyasa-that have had to rely on flashier forms of advertising, such as Hollywood devotees, who may, incidentally, be full of it (pardon my French). “Some of these trends in fitness are related to marketing, which is unfortunate,” says William Ebben, PhD, assistant professor of exercise science at Marquette University in Milwaukee. “If you’re interested in toning or getting strength, you need overload: That means resistance training with loads, and loads that are challenging. And you’re not going to get overload very well from Pilates and yoga.”
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Macfadden may have idealized a slightly more WWF-ish look than we do today, but when we think of bodies worth coveting—abs like Madonna’s, arms like Mobama’s, curves like the Jessicas’ (Alba, Biel, Rabbit)—it’s pointless to deny that these are also strong, strong women and more pointless to ponder whether these ladies have done a biceps curl (or thousand). Less substantiated but most alluring are rumblings that, pre–photo shoot or red carpet event, some celebs suck down vinegar shots to dehydrate muscles and enhance definition; others slather themselves with testosterone cream to encourage bulk. Sounds gross—and is dangerously dumb!—but these are the same pre-competition tricks employed by pro bodybuilders, who, just like movie stars, will often do whatever it takes.
Ramona Braganza, an L.A.-based trainer whose clients have included the aforementioned Jessicas (except Rabbit—she’s just drawn that way), Halle Berry, and Anne Hathaway, admits to being “from the school of nuts and bolts. Fancy stuff is great, but there’s nothing like free weights.” Two weeks before this year’s Oscars, Hathaway (who, when she wasn’t dancing onstage with host Hugh Jackman, sat front-row center) asked Braganza for some last-minute fine-tuning for her shoulders and arms. No surprise here: “I didn’t recommend that she go to Pilates for eight days,” Braganza says. “I said, ‘We need to hit the weights!’ Yoga is great for the stretching aspect, and core work is really important, so Pilates is great for that, but it doesn’t give you enough bulk to look defined. You still need to go back to the old way of building and shaping a body.”
Take the standard squat: According to Ebben, this exercise primarily engages your quads and glutes, but your hamstrings are working to stabilize the knee and your torso muscles are active, training your core with every rep. Add a pair of dumbbells (so long, recession-unfriendly machines) and “you’re balancing and controlling that mass in all three planes of movement, resulting in increased balance.” Better balance and a stronger core? Sounds like you could ditch the yoga and Pilates classes, do some squats (or other free-weight routine), and get a lot more bang for a lot less buck. “Yes, absolutely,” Ebben says. “That’s a very sophisticated understanding you have.”
Why, thank you, Doctor. I think I’m ready for my workout.
Renowned muscle factory Gold’s Gym was “the grandfather of institutions back in the ’70s and ’80s, [known] for building great bodies,” Braganza says. “It’s where it all started for me and for a lot of people.” I show up at Gold’s (about half the price of other bare-bones Manhattan gyms) for my first session with Joy, a seasoned weight trainer currently prepping for her first bikini-required fitness competition. Standing at the training desk, fidgeting like a schmo, I try to remember the last time I was in a gym. Oh, yeah: I worked at one! Years ago. I never left the front desk. Joy ushers me past the shiny, happy ellipticals and over to the clink-clink-meets-bad-techno of the free-weight room. I get more than a few sidelong glances from the testosteroney pit-stained set—and yeah, it’s intimidating. But here’s something I didn’t expect: They look a little anxious too. As if I might run back to the slumber party and spill who grunts the loudest. Joy starts me out with basic squats and lunges. The tricks are proper form, remembering to squeeze the glutes and abs, concurrent breathing. Staring at myself in the mirror, hands on hips, lunging up and down, I’m suddenly reminded that I’ve done this before, but instead of a mirror, I’d faced a Cindy Crawford VHS workout tape. Back then, I’d bound down the stairs wearing bike shorts and a sports bra, rearrange the living room furniture, and raid the pantry for makeshift weights while my mom lovingly rolled her eyes.
“Do you ever do these?” I ask Joy.
“Yes, but…I do them with weights.”
For now, I’m thinking my body is enough weight to lift. I’m really feeling this, in all sorts of muscles that have long since given up on me, and Joy won’t let me stop. I miss Cindy.
Joy could probably out-lift most of the guys I know. But according to Linda Baltes, a military officer with a background in biochemistry, women who exercise like men are working out for the wrong body. Baltes is partnering with George Snyder, the creator of the early-’80s Miss Olympia female fitness competitions, for this summer’s launch of an exercise program (unnamed at press time) that claims you can swap out the treadmill for her and Snyder’s “lunge cycle” routine, which, Baltes explains, is both aerobic and anaerobic, meaning it gets your heart rate going and builds muscle at the same time. “These lunges aren’t your traditional, I’m-gonna-stand-in-front-of-the-mirror-and-do- lunges,” Baltes says. “I see these women who never get off the treadmill or the elliptical—I call them ‘cardio queens’—and they never, ever change their bodies. Cardio is for your heart, it’s not for your muscles. Yes, it’s good if you need to burn calories; that’s why people are drawn to it.” But the lunge cycles, she says, burn an equal amount of calories and tone the thighs, butt, and hips—areas that men don’t typically focus on. “So if you could get that same result, get your heart rate up, and end up with stronger muscles,” she says, “why would you spin your wheels on a treadmill when you’re not reshaping your body?”
It’s a compelling thought—who wouldn’t want to tell cardio to take a hike and still reap the rewards of that very hike? But even if it sounds too good, lunges aren’t going anywhere. And neither are good-old-fashioned, just-try-to-deny-’em, can’t-barely-lift-’em, when-can-I-drop-’em free weights.
I’ve been back at Gold’s a few more times, enough to discover that personal trainers actually use the phrase, “Feel the burn!” even if they’re kidding. Joy has been dutifully counting my chest presses, shoulder presses, leg curls, rear delt flys, cable flys, biceps curls, crunches, reverse crunches, push-ups, and pull-ups while kindly reminding me to breathe. At our last session, I’m doing lateral raises and focusing so intensely on squeezing my abs, keeping my back straight, knees bent, and remembering to both inhale and exhale that I’m oblivious not only to the guys around me (and the contorted faces I hope I’m incapable of making), but also to how much it hurts. By the time I’m done, I feel—dare I say it?—empowered. And a little like Jell-O. By now, Joy’s caught on to my pathetic trick of asking questions (so, what color bikini?!) after every other rep, so she’s upped the weights and totally stopped listening. I’ll thank her later.
By Rachel Rosenblit
via Elle.com
eToday has a photo gallery of female body builders. The photos are by Marton Schoeller, from his book, 
